Let’s Talk Pizza, Shall We?

Pizza exists as proof that Jesus loves me.  This I know.  So, one of the first quests I undertook as a newly minted vegan was to find a vegan pizza that didn’t suck.  Look, in this case, low expectations seemed like the right way to go.  

Every Friday night at our house is pizza night, and the pressure was on for me to find something edible that resembled pizza that wouldn’t push Amy over the edge (she was giving the E2 Diet a go; she was always hungry and was practically begging for  real food, although it was always unclear to me what qualified as real in this specific instance.  She is now a lapsed E2-er, and the world is a happier place–well, my world at least).  

Under great duress, this is what I came up with:

And, I will admit, there is a certain awesomeness to this pizza.  Think skating rink pizza, and you will have a pretty firm grasp on what to expect.  And I, for one, loved skating rink pizza.  I basically only went skating for the pizza and the glowsticks.  So, the appeal was not completely lost on me.  And it did rekindle the urge to couple skate.


I am no longer 10 years old, and I want my pizza to be less nostalgic and more like actual food.  Not to mention, the Tofurky folks went a little nuts with the pepperoni.  Like the pizza was covered in a little pepperoni blanket.  It was all a bit overwhelming, what with the nostalgia and the excessive pepperoni.  Ultimately, I think this pizza might be best left to the vegan 10 year olds of the world. 

 Then there was this mishap:

Now, maybe you can spot the issue right away.  Yeah, the little note that says,”Contains Milk Protein,” on the bottom left; TOTALLY didn’t see that.  The pizza, just as a side note, tasted a bit like lunchroom pizza from elementary school.  What is with all the throwback tastes?  Anyway, NOT VEGAN.  Just like the box says.  But, seriously, who makes a soy cheeze pizza that is not vegan?!  Why not just take it all the way, folks?

I know at this point, you are probably feeling pretty bad for me.  I was feeling pretty bad for me, too.  But, all this trial and tribulation, and inadvertent reliving of my childhood, was made worthwhile by this glorious, delicious pizza WITH NO CHEESE:

“Wha??? A pizza with no cheese?! Blasphemy!,” you cry!

And to that I say, “Dude, chill out.”  

The crust on this pizza is amazing… slightly sweet and perfectly doughy.  Instead of a traditional sauce, there is a sweet onion spread.  The artichokes, mushrooms and red pepper provide some complexity without becoming overwhelming.  And, there is a bit of balsamic vinegar to give it a slight tang.  The effect isn’t what you think of when you think of grabbing a slice on the way home from the bar at 2 a.m.  But, I have had my fair share of that kind of pizza.  Consider this a gourmet pizza.

Like I said, Friday night is pizza night (and it is also my lazy dinner night).  To round out the meal, we had a spinach, apple & raisin salad with balsamic dressing, Muir Glen Garden Vegetable Soup with crusty bread, and Amy’s Roasted Vegetable No Cheese Pizza.  And Ames didn’t even once beg for real food.  That, my friends, is what we call a win.

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