Craving

Yesterday, as I listened to Brad Paisley on my commute to my second job, it hit me… I really wanted a beer. Cheap and domestic, in a bottle, please. Maybe the country music prompted the urge… I gained notoriety for my country music jukebox runs when I was drinking. Or maybe the rustic, country setting on my drive to New Port Richey, reminiscent of Tallahassee, reminded me that I like beer. Either way, the urge was strong. I remembered the way the bottle felt when it touched my lips, icy from the cooler, and that first long sip, crisp and exciting.

Fortunately, yesterday marked only the third time I have run up against this kind of craving. I hear that some folks battle that longing feeling daily at the beginning of their sobriety. Shitty.

In times like these, a good AA calls her sponsor. I am not a particularly good AA. I parked my car and walked into my classroom. I moved on with my life and, just like that, craving gone.

Don’t get me wrong, I will tell my sponsor how I felt. We will inevitably discuss the haps in my life that put me in that boozin’ mindset for a minute (dude, that sentence is awesome!). But, as it is, I stand reminded that I am one decision away from drinking. I am never going to be “above” this. I will always rely on my higher power to get me past the urges and on the program to keep me honest. Not a bad gig, this maintenance program.

And today, today I am just focused on my next cup of coffee. Keep ‘em coming, barista!

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