An AA friend mentioned my upcoming anniversary the other day: “When you make it to your one year anniversary (God-willing)…”

God-willing. Huh.

In what circumstance would God will me to get drunk? And why, suddenly, have I lost my own agency regarding whether or not I pick up a drink?

It isn’t that I don’t believe in God. I do. In fact, I believe in a personal God, a benevolent God. I also believe that God does not smite us for His (or Her) own amusement. And, under no circumstances, do I see how my going on a spree, a bender, a down-ward spiral, rehab-bound drunkfest could be God’s will for me.

Every day brings challenges. Some of those challenges seem like they would be best handled with a beer in hand. But, at some point, I have to decide that drinking my way through my life and my troubles simply isn’t the way I want to live. God isn’t going to decide that for me. And I can lean on God for strength, for comfort. But my actions dictate whether or not I stay sober. God is not going to put a beer in my hand or move the shot glass just out of my reach.

So, yeah, God-willing I will make it to my one year anniversary. I think God and I are on the same page on this one.

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One Comment on “God-Willing”

  1. Rae Rae Says:

    Amen sister !!!!

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