Congratulations?

Yesterday, as I was standing in line for a veggie burger cooked on a real grill (one of the publishers hosted a BBQ at school!), something rather, well… awkward, occured.  One of my co-workers, who is 40 and has been trying to get pregnant for some time now, wandered up and made a passing reference to pulling the “pregnant lady card” and eating inside, to escape the sweltering heat.  No one really noticed.  One of my other co-workers complimented her outfit, which allowed her the opportunity to say that she was glad she could still wear it… you know, being pregnant and all.  Then she got the gushing congratulations she wanted.

There is nothing wrong with this scenario.  She is excited.  Sweet.

But she does know that I have been trying to get pregnant.  So, after she basks in her good news, she turns to me and says, “So, are you still taking those shots and everything to try to get pregnant?”  Awkward.  My co-workers know I am trying to get knocked up.  But I really don’t chat about the process all that much.  And after her cavalier remark (and some other random chatting about my fertility from another one of my office mates), I am beginning to be sorry anyone knows at all.  I mumble the affirmative, to which she responds that maybe I am just not aware of when I ovulate… you know, since that was her problem and all.

Okay.  I am gay.  I do not have an abundance of sperm kicking around that allows me to try to get pregnant as many times per cycle as my partner can get it up.  The up-side of that is that the doctor tracks and triggers my ovulation.  I don’t expect  her to know that.  But I do expect her to think before she makes off the cuff remarks about something she knows nothing about.

There was just something that smacked of her gloating about being pregnant.  Which, in case you wondered, is rather hurtful.

Oh, and then, for good measure (to really make my head spin off my body), she noted that they were having the “Down Syndrome test” today, and if the baby has Down Syndrome they will terminate the pregnancy.  Then why the HELL are you telling people you are pregnant now?   Is basking in the fact that you got pregnant, just to tell us that you are quickly going to get un-pregnant if things aren’t shaping up the way you want, really that fulfilling for you?* Apparently so.

The whole thing was just gross to me.  But don’t worry, I still managed to find the heart to eat two veggie burgers, baked beans, potato salad and an M&M cookie.  Ain’t gonna let some crazy pregnant lady ruin my BBQ.

*I know that almost 90% of people that find out they are having a child with Down Syndrome abort.  But to have that information tossed about as if she were deciding whether or not to dye her hair was an afront to everything I believe about the sanctity of life.  And, again, what bizarre timing for sharing her good news about a baby she may choose not to carry to term.

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