To recreate as I choose…

Just returned from Anything But Safe (a conference on gender and sex), which was awesome. Way too much time has lapsed since I gave sex much of a thought. I have sex. But I have not considered recently what I want sex to be, what it can be once I release my preconceived notions of propriety and acceptable desire.

Moreover, gender fluidity isn’t something I consider… primarily because I identify as a “woman” and then move on to the next topic. But there is no binary “male” and “female.” I am a queer, and as such I already defy the binary. But do I cling to certain behaviors, certain thoughts because I believe they mirror the “female” instead of being concerned about whether or not they mirror who I am? Interesting thoughts to consider, to deconstruct…

But what I truly walked away with is the desire, no… the need, to speak my truth. When I get real, when all of the pretense is stripped away, who am I? What does my voice offer to the discourse on religion, politics, gender, and sexuality that can truly reach people, that can offer alternative ways of seeing and experiencing the world?

I am a lesbian. I am a Christian with Buddhist leanings. I am an alcoholic. None of these labels define me completely. But they are pieces of me. They are truths. They are mine to embrace or discard as I choose. I am mine to recreate as I will.*

*These thoughts and ideas were inspired by the fabulous Kate Bornstein, who spoke tonight at Anything But Safe.

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