I have always found difficulty in distinguishing the line between being in need of a friend and being needy. Well, that isn’t really fair… In a former incarnation of myself, I was usually just needy. But sometimes, when times are a bit trying, it helps to be able to reach out to the people you really count as your friends.

Although, for a person who is like me (but so clearly remembers herself only as being needy), some of the most rewarding times are those when you really WANT someone to be there… but your realize that you don’t NEED them. Not in the scared, helpless way you used to. There is something brave about being alone with your own thoughts… traversing them the way that you do terrain that you are familiar with, yet can’t see all that well. You become your own flashlight. Your thoughts become a compass, and you settle in. Sure, there are things that bump in the night… but you are assured that they are not as frightening as you once believed them to be. The shadow they cast are way more frightening than the things themselves.

And, in the morning, you may be just as lonely as you were the night before. But you have a renewed sense of fortitude. A renewed sense of self, which by far trumps the momentary pang of searching alone.

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One Comment on “Shadows”

  1. Miss Kris Says:

    You were doing this all in secret! I was so hoping you’d start blogging again and I sure hope it doesn’t stop after this month is over. Yay!

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